Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Planned Parenthood

I'm a planner. I love to plan. I was at my happiest and calmest days just before my wedding, which I planned all on my lonesome. I crave to be in the thick of the largest projects at work. I plan our vacations and our weekends, sometimes to the hour.

It's just what I do.

So when things don't go according to plan, I sometimes have a hard time coping. Sure, there are times I've been known to fly by the seat of my pants. Depending on the occasion, I can roll with the punches. I can be flexible when need be and I'm pretty good at it (or at least appear to be). But most of the time, I'm not one for surprises and unexpected twists.

I'm pretty boring.

When we recently announced our surprise, unplanned pregnancy to a few close friends, many teased that while it may have been a surprise for Jon, they had a hard time believing I didn't have some part in planning the outcome.

But it's true we didn't plan this little one. Neither of us did. I had talked the talk of wanting another child for some time but the truth is, another one to run after is a pretty scary and overwhelming thought! Not to mention going through 10 months of huge weight gain, swollen feet, injured wrists, constant congestion and oh yes, my back.

If that's not enough, this time I'm not blissfully ignorant of the big D-Day and am just praying this one stays head down the entire ride. ;-)

What the hell are we in for? And why in the world would I purposefully plan for another? :)

I've started a few conversations with Logan about his baby sibling, explaining that the baby is growing inside me. It's a little early I know, but I feel like a lot of me is preparing myself more than him.


There's a part of me that feels hugely guilty we will be turning his ideal only-child world upside down in just a few short months. And I worry about how he will deal. Shit, I worry how we will deal.

Of course, the bigger part of me knows he needs a sibling and is going to be a caring and compassionate (if sometimes bratty) big brother. I cannot wait to see him teach his baby sibling how to eat, walk, talk, run, hide. Annoy the cats and shower the dogs with too much love and attention. Share his Legos but hide his train and cars. And climb onto our bed together in the mornings to jump and tumble on our bellies and backs.

While we're still in a bit of denial and shocked at the idea of another one joining us so soon (or sooner than planned), we're also very excited and happy for our growing family. We're rolling with the punches.

Hopefully they will be fast and furious friends forever - being just about 2.5 years apart.

I couldn't have planned it any better myself.


Choun Family said...

wonderfully put.

Cat Shipman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cat Shipman said...

LOL, this was hilarious! just think, Logan LOVES Robert so much, he is bound to be best friends with his little bro(thats what im thinking).

note: my last post was filled with typos.