Friday, May 8, 2009

Grumpy Old Man

Yes, that is what I am. I have little patient for peddlers of false promise and hope. I am annoyed by fear mongering. But this is a classic tactic, spread the fear and then sell your brand on the future promise of eradication of said fear. And it especially pisses me off when this occurs while I am holding a hungry, tired, grumpy 17 month old in my arms. It is obvious they know no one wants to hear it, or they wouldn't start with round about questions, faulty logic, and improperly applied correlations. It would be much more honest if they would just say what they wanted, instead of beating around the bush thinking they can lead you to some universe shattering epiphany. Sorry, I'm all epiphanied out for today. Please be on your way. Perhaps I would be less cynical if they would leave when I state I have no interest in what they have to offer. I mean, I could at least write it off as someone wanting to share in what they perceive to be a great find... But when I tell them I am not interested, and lets not forget I have my hands full with a cranky little man, and they do not leave, it has gone from sharing to peddling. And it goes from peddling to cramming when I again state I am not interested, and they still don't leave. At this point I drift away for a few moments, to a scene in my minds eye where I am escorting them off my front porch with a shotgun. But the joy only lasts a few moments as I mentally snap back into the moment. I shut the door on them, they can stand where they like, but I am done being cordial.

I don't go to their home, interrupt their day, and try to peddle my particular brand of hokum down their throats. If you have not already figured out who I speak of, then here is a hint: It rhymes with Shmehova Shmitness. If this offends you, then good, take my house off your list of those to bother.

I said good day!


Nathan said...

You should just do what I do. "Uhm, no, sorry." and shut the door. :) No stress, no worries.

Choun Family said...

yep, I really don't like that stuff.

Kimmy said...

I enjoy those guys..probably because I enjoy confusing and scaring them.

I've handed them copies of The Witches Bible, Buddhism information, voodoo info..said "oh no please, come in! We're about to begin...are you allergic to cows blood?"

..or when they ask if I believe in God, I've said "oh..several.."