Monday, June 8, 2009

Rocks are a Boy's Best Friend

You never really want to wish a traumatic experience onto anyone, let alone your own child. Yet, this evening, as I was driving to an urgent after hours on-call doctor appointment, I have to admit, the thought definitely crossed my mind.

Just as I was packing up at work, I got a call from his school today. Logan stuck another rock up his nose. And, this time it was too far up for the teachers to reach and get out on their own. They were a little panicky and not sure what to do.

I called Dr. Safir - whose office was closed for the night, but gave a number for the on-call doctor. I called them and they told me it actually wasn't a terribly urgent issue and if I wanted to just wait until the morning and take Logan in to see Dr. Safir tomorrow instead, that would be totally fine.

Uhhh, I think I'd like you to take the rock out tonight, thank you very much.

I whisked him away from school (where he was happily sitting at the table eating his late afternoon snack, seemingly 100% unaffected by the fact that there was a rock lodged up his nose) and drove like mad to make the 6:15pm appointment clear across town.

And there I was, preparing myself for a traumatic event, where we'd need 5 adults to hold down my screaming writhing son as the doctor reached up his nose with long needle-nose pliers to painfully pull the rock out, all the while Logan imploring me with his tear-filled eyes to stop. But then I thought, well shit. Maybe this will finally teach him a lesson. Maybe he would finally learn that ROCKS DO NOT GO IN NOSES.

Unfortunately (or fortunately?), the rescue mission went nothing like I had imagined. Instead, Logan laid quietly still on the table while I pinned down his arms against his ears/head and the nurse held down his torso/legs, pointing a flashlight up his nose. The doctor took out a medium sized pair of tweezers (with long skinny tips) and within 5 seconds, the big honkin' rock was out of his nose.

Not a scream. Not a tussle. Not a tear nor a drop of blood. Not even a whimper.


Instead, my kid just smiled REAL big, wondering what all the commotion was about.

And I'm pretty sure the lesson he learned tonight wasn't "Do not stick another rock up my nose", but rather, "If I stick rocks up my nose, I am going to get a lot of attention and an easy 5 second rescue mission right afterward. Score!"

Offending Piece of Evidence
A little smaller than a dime and still slimy and wet from Logan boogers :)


Jennifer said...


Leo said...

i love seeing mama bree's instincts kick in to action! I need to find you a theme song for times like these!