It's been almost a week since my last post. Totally not like me but when I think about what happened between then and now I remember I was busy and exhausted every single night.
I hosted a large holiday dinner party for a number of our close friends on Saturday night. I spent the day cleaning house, doing chores and cooking. We played games that night and I was beat by the time I went to bed, about midnight.
The next day I was pretty sore from the previous day's activities. Besides the after-math clean up, we took down our Christmas tree and decorations. (sigh) We also went shopping and bought new towels (all towels were ruined by a kitchen sink "explosion" that happened at the last minute, in the middle of my cooking on Saturday night), as well as a new garbage disposal. Our last day of "vacation" was spent handling house chores.
This week Logan returned back to school and Jon and I returned back to work. It's been challenging adjusting everyone back to our daily routine but we eventually figured it out. Logan hasn't minded returning to school (Thank God!) but what has been an interesting (and absolutely wonderful!) change, is his excitement and thrill upon seeing me pick him up at the end of the day. Before, it'd be hit or miss if he was happy to see me or not. This week has been so great. The minute he sees me, he makes a run for me, grabbing and hugging my legs, and yelling "MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY!" I tell you Internets, it's the best feeling in the whole wide world and my heart just swells thinking about it. It makes me love being a parent more than anything.
Earlier this week I had a horrible nightmare. I'll spare you the gory details but essentially Logan was killed. In front of my very eyes. And I couldn't stop it in time. I screamed out but my voice was silent and gone. It was horrifying and although I knew immediately it was a dream, it still stopped my heart. The rest of the day, my memory taunted me with flashing images of that disturbing dream. I have always had pretty vivid dreams, and they were definitely more so when I was pregnant with Logan, but this one hit my core harder than any other has before. One of the not so great things about being a parent? (and being pregnant)
My body feels every pregnancy ache and stretch much more readily this time around and although I usually think I'll be just fine during delivery, I've lately been worried that I won't be as fit as last time and might have a harder time at it. Thus, I've started wearing my maternity support brace much more often (even though I hate it) and have scheduled appointments to return back to PT which I haven't been as religious about as I should have. Hopefully the change in attitude will help down the road.
The good news is, I just realized today, I have about 3 months left at the office before I slow down and work from home until the baby arrives. Having that sort of short deadline in front of me has given me a small new burst of energy! Yeehaw!
Tomorrow we leave for a quick weekend road trip down to LA to visit Jon's family and my brother. We haven't done a long road trip like this in some time, so it'll be interesting to see how Logan (and we) manage, given how much more active and mobile he has become. I'm also not sure how I'll fare with my growing belly and aching back. And because we're always up for a challenge, we are taking Lola with us as well.
Wish us luck - we will need it.