Me.

The good: I got the job! We're working on the exact start date now, but I'm really excited about this new opportunity and move in my career. (I'm not leaving the company, but taking a new role within my organization)

The bad: The last time I nursed Callum was one week ago (after he fell off the bed). I tried a few more times after that but he'd scream and fight me every time. :( It wasn't a pleasant experience for either of us. I had really wanted to make it to (at least) 6 months, like I had with Logan. So I'm really disappointed in myself that I couldn't keep it up. :( If there's any silver lining to it all however, it's that I'm now able to get rid of all the ugly nursing bras and tops and return back to my regular ol' lingerie!

The ugly: Last Friday I had a follow up with my GYN/fertility specialist who I last saw during those first few scary weeks of my pregnancy with Callum. He examined me and did an ultrasound to "confirm" (as much as you can with this illness) that I have endometriosis. We're pretty certain this is what has been contributing to my pelvic and lower back pain over the past few years.

The next step, for a true diagnosis as well as treatment, is laparoscopic surgery. I scheduled the surgery for early November (so that it's after Halloween with the boys - how sad is it that Halloween is a higher priority?!?). I've never been put under before, if you can believe it!!, so the control freak in me is a wee bit nervous. :( Luckily, I'm seeing one of the best surgeons in the country, and feel completely safe and reassured that I will be in good hands. And, since medicine has come so far these days, I should be walking the same day (or within a couple of days at most), with a relatively short recovery time, thank goodness.

4 months old

Callum turns 4 months old this week (Thursday). A well traveled man, he's taken two plane trips and one road trip - all within the last month - wow!


We're leaving for Hawaii bright and early tomorrow morning, so I wanted to post a few things about his last month before I'm laying on the beach and not thinking about blogging, errands, work or laundry. I might think about making sorbet, but I'm sure a shaved ice or two will remedy that sickness. ;-)


This is the last month I have with Callum before returning to work and I've been thinking a lot about that. When my maternity leave ended with Logan, I wasn't crazy about leaving him of course, but I was ready to return to the world of adult conversation and doing something other than feeding and changing diapers. This time around, I don't feel as ready. I don't know if it's because Callum is an easier baby to care for than Logan, and therefore has allowed me the time to do my own things too, or whether I am more comfortable with parenting than I was before? Hard to say. But I do know I'm not as ready. :(

Over the last couple of weeks, I feel like Callum has really "woken" up. He loves watching his big brother and smiles bright and big anytime Logan comes by to say hello. He's also starting to laugh! It's more like a grunting laugh than a baby giggle, but he's learning. ;-) He has started to sleep a bit longer, on average about 6 hours at a time. Still not long enough if you ask me, especially once I return to work! But I know the longer hours will come with time.


He isn't crazy about the Ergo Carrier, although he's doing better and I'm hopeful he'll learn to like it while in Hawaii. And he absolutely hates the car seat (as you've heard from our recent road trip). He's now tearing up with those big fat tears anytime he wails and it just breaks my heart. :( But no matter how many times I tell him it's the law, he doesn't seem to care.


I can't remember exactly when Logan started to ween off breastfeeding but I think it was about this time. Callum is definitely doing the same. I know I'm not producing enough for his growing appetite but it's still very frustrating and upsetting for me. I still continue to try and keep him going but I know this precious time with him that I have is running short. On the other hand, it's probably a blessing in disguise, since pumping at work was such a challenge for me before, especially when only producing a few ounces. *sigh*


Callum has been showing more and more interest in Logan. He watches his loud big brother and smiles real big anytime Logan gets close and talks to him. Logan, too, has taken more interest in his little brother day by day. He often times forgets that Callum is still such a little guy. But, overall, they are both doing so wonderfully together, it's great to see our two little monkeys getting along like brothers should.

X-Rated

Callum has this habit where he wraps his arm/hand into my shirt and pulls it over his face while nursing or sleeping (don't worry, he's just sleeping here!). It's pretty funny.

Is this a sign of a "player-to-be"? ;-)

Editor's Note: I forgot to mention Callum's conked out here after a traumatic morning, where he decided to shit so hard he blew out his diaper, onesie and the side of his car seat....aaaaand then fell asleep.

I'll spare you any details or pics ;-) but let's just say I cut my PT appointment short, raced home, took apart the car seat, climbed into the tub with the little guy and proceeded to wake him up (and piss him off) while hosing everything down.

Yay! for blowouts. Not a part of parenting I enjoy.

2 weeks old

Yesterday Callum turned 2 weeks old. I feel like I can already see him getting bigger, day by day, but then again, it's only been two weeks, so it could just be me. ;-)


He's definitely becoming much more alert and aware (when he's awake, which isn't often!) of his surroundings. I sometimes waste away a good hour just holding him and watching him take everything in. He moves his head from side to side, looking around, staring at the ceiling or his crazy hyper brother who's ROARING about two centimeters from his face, processing it all and taking it all in. He doesn't yet have the strength to control his head movements, but he's been doing really well at holding his head up on his own already. I've found he often likes to look out, instead of in, when I'm holding him - which is mostly an adjustment for me since Logan loved to snuggle his face into my chest anytime of day, so I'm trying to break the habit of carrying him facing in toward my chest.

The last couple of days have marked a significant increase in food intake. So, I think he must be going through his 2 week growth spurt (we'll see if that's true during his 2 week check up on Friday). It's actually been quite exhausting for me - we've been spoiled with how well this little guy sleeps at night, compared to Logan anyway, so when Callum has been a little extra fussy and downing more bottles than I can make at 4am in the morning, it's been a bit of a wake up call for both Jon and I. Particularly since Jon returned back to work yesterday, so I've been trying to cover most of the night time duties on my own so he can catch up on some sleep. Of course, last night, that plan backfired on us when Logan was restless with several nightmares. Jon ended up "sleeping" in Logan's bed with him for a few hours to settle him down. As a consequence, he suffered a number of bruised ribs and feet in his face anytime Logan decided to rotate 360 degrees mid-sleep.


Speaking of sleep, Callum is getting much better at sleeping on his own. He absolutely loves being held and sleeping next to me - but it's harder for me to get a full night's rest since I'm still half awake, aware of his every squeak and move. So, the last few nights, I've been putting him in his co-sleeper for longer periods of time to allow him to get used to sleeping on his own. Sometimes he sleeps just fine and other times he fusses and wants me to hold him - we're still learning, but it's getting better.


One of the hospital's lactation consultants who saw me after I had Callum, called to check up on me yesterday. We talked for a bit and it was actually helpful. She's sending me some material to read up on, on how to increase my supply (because no matter how many times I tell these guys that I already am trying everything, they still don't believe me). But the most useful part of the conversation was her comment about how she's very happy I'm on domperidone, but that she has seen it take about 3 weeks or so to kick in. I've been a little worried that the meds haven't been working for me, since my supply is still extremely low, so it was good to hear that it's still too early to tell.

One of the things I DON'T miss about having a newborn are the constant diaper changes we have to go through. And, our little guy HATES having his diaper changed. He also hates having a dirty diaper and doesn't hesitate to let you know. And when I say he lets you know it - I mean he REALLY lets you know it.


He can be peacefully sleeping next to you and then two seconds later erupt into the loudest torturing scream a mother's ears have ever heard. So, I scramble to change him as quickly as possible, while little feet and arms are flailing and half the time getting smeared with poop in the process. I have to say, it's so much easier when you've got a toddler who not only has more solid poops to clean up, but calmly walks up to you and lets you know he's pooped and needs his diaper changed (or lately, needs to sit on the potty).

Within the last few days I've noticed this tiny little white speck on Callum's lower front gums. I didn't think much about it at first since he's -- DUUUHHH -- a newborn. But, a couple of days ago I decided to feel the little speck and felt the faintest sharpest little nub. I think I'm living on less sleep than I realized since it's hard for me to believe a little tooth is already coming in this early - so you can bet it's one of the first things I'm having Dr. Safir check for me during our Friday visit this week.

I'll have to get a better shot later this week with Jon's help and my camera, rather than my iPhone

Speaking of getting better shots - I have yet to capture the gorgeous little dimples that Callum has on BOTH cheeks whenever he smiles. He doesn't smile too often yet, usually in his sleep when he's dreaming, but I'm hoping the dimples stick around for awhile at least, because they are just too damn cute.

Fattening up

Today was another weigh in for Callum and I'm happy to report he's done really well these last few days! He's gained a whopping 5 oz in 3 days which is pretty significant, and is now at 7 lbs, 3.5 oz. :) Dr. Safir wants us to keep doing what we're doing since it seems to be working - and we'll go back in for Callum's "2 week checkup" in a week (when he'll be almost 3 weeks, but given the amount of visits we've already had, he's giving us a break).

As for what we're doing - I'm still nursing first, then pumping like crazy afterward. We've been supplementing every (or almost every) meal after I nurse with whatever breastmilk I've pumped, and once that's run out (which doesn't take long!), we move onto formula, giving a couple more ounces until Callum is full.

I can't say the meds have increased my milk supply dramatically, although I do think I'm getting a little more than before. Hard to say if that's just because of the frequency with which I'm nursing and pumping or due to the meds, or both. Some of the literature I've read says that it could take several days or weeks for the domperidone to really kick in though, so I'm hopeful we'll still see a significant increase soon. :)

Weigh In

Yesterday morning was our weigh in for little Callum. The good news is, his weight is up from last Friday. The bad news is, the needle didn't move much, as he weighed in at 6lbs, 14.5oz (we were hoping he'd get up around 7lbs, 2oz or so).

What's more, Monday night his appetite finally seemed to kick in (which is a good thing), and he literally devoured every last drop of breastmilk I had pumped and been storing (which is a frustrating thing). Just when I thought I was getting a bit of an edge on him to build up some sort of supply, he catches up to me!

*sigh*

Dr. Safir wants us to now try supplementing, with either breastmilk or formula, after every feeding instead of just 2-3 per day and see how that'll do. We go back in on Friday for another weight check. We're still giving him all the breastmilk I'm pumping first, but have already had to give him an additional couple of ounces of formula yesterday and this morning since we've got nothing else to give the hungry monster!

The good news is, the pharmacy (finally!) had my meds ready. The prescription is a "compound" prescription, which basically means it's not sold by manufacturers but custom made.... so it took longer to fill than usual. However, I've now started on that and hopefully will see a difference in my supply here in the next few days. We'll see!

After Callum's doctor appointment, we dropped Logan off at school and then went out to see Date Night, a movie that everyone has raved about. Callum was a great kiddo and slept the entire time, so Jon and I had a couple hours of "downtime" to just enjoy being with each other and getting out of the house. The movie was hilarious and we had a lot of fun! We're hoping to catch another flick or two again this week before Jon returns to work (part time) next week. :)

One week old

I can't believe it's already been a week! On the other hand, I also sometimes find myself thinking, wait, it's only been a week?!?!

Time has flown by as we've adjusted to the newest member of our family. But, the labor, delivery, birth and time spent at the hospital all seem a distant blur in my memory now. Funny how labor will do that to you. :) I definitely need to scribble down a few notes about the day of labor, before I completely forget everything!


Because Callum was born in a different hospital from Logan, our regular pediatrician didn't get to see him the first day he was born. So, his first check up with Dr. Safir was actually earlier than usual, last Friday morning.

While waiting to see Dr. Dave, I decided to cut Callum's fingernails, since I hadn't yet done that and they were so super long that he was already cutting his face anytime he grabbed it. :(

Unfortunately, I cut the tip (or two) of his fingers, which threw him into a raging fit. Jon immediately grabbed him from me, scolding me for being so extremely cruel and practically amputating our newborn. I told him to relax. I did it with Logan when he was a newborn too. It's like the required initiation into our family.

Jon failed to see the humor in that comment.

Following tradition, a pic of Callum wrapped up in the blanket that my mom and aunt were brought home from the hospital in, and every other child born on my mom's side of the family, since then.

Thankfully everything looked great during his checkup. Callum is a strong muscular little guy who's very aware of his surroundings. Unfortunately, just like Logan, he has some weight gain issues. We knew this could be a possibility but I was really hoping it wouldn't be. However, he weighed 6lbs, 13oz, which is about a pound under his birth weight (in just 4 days!) and, given my history of battling a low milk supply, Dr. Safir wants us to be more aggressive this time around.

So, we're back to supplementing again. UGH.

We've been given the weekend to see if we can turn his weight around and get it back on the upward trajectory. We'll go in again tomorrow morning to do another weigh in and see. We've been instructed to continue breastfeeding and supplement 2-3 times a day. Dr. Safir knows I'm pumping in addition to nursing, and said to definitely use whatever breastmilk we have expressed first, before moving to formula. But, if we're out of breastmilk, then onto formula we go.

I supplemented with formula for Logan and he has turned into a wonderful kid (if I do say so myself!). And yet, the news still shook me emotionally. I had a rough couple of hours after the doctor's appointment, coming to terms with the news.

So, what am I doing?

I've spent the entire weekend with either a baby or a Madonna-looking S&M device attached to my boobs, to try and stimulate my milk supply as much as possible. So far it seems to be working, since we haven't yet had to break into the can of formula to supplement Callum's meals. But GODDAMN it's exhausting and hard work.

I'm basically nursing Callum every ~2-3 hrs during the day (he seems to be able to go longer at night so we're feeding him every ~4 hrs, or whenever he wakes up, to take advantage of the much needed sleep). After I nurse, for about 20-30 minutes, I then pump for another 20 minutes (we rented a hospital grade pump to help).

I also called my OB, and put in a request for a prescription of domperidone, a hormone supplement meant to help boost my milk supply. We'll see if that helps any as well (I didn't know about this option when I had Logan, since the drug is still pretty new in the States, and wasn't readily available then...)

We've spent Callum's first week getting to know his little squeaks and squirms - when he needs to burp, feed, or poop. He and I just got out yesterday afternoon to enjoy some of the beautiful weather we had this weekend for a short walk - it was quite lovely and he stayed awake the entire time, obviously taking in all the new sounds we heard, along the way.


His little umbilical stump also fell off yesterday, which seems so much earlier than with Logan! But very cool since it's one of those first big milestones that you look for during the first weeks of your newborn's life. :)

Jon and I are still re-learning all the newborn parenting tricks of the trades that we have long forgotten from Logan's days.

We've also had plenty of visitors of course. Callum has already met several of our close friends. My parents have visited quite often (most notably my dad since he sets his own hours), which has been helpful, especially during the week when Jon is out running errands and I need someone to just hold Callum so I can pump, shower, or God forbid, take a piss. ;-)


Jon's brother Aaron happened to be in town for work these past two weeks, so he, Jon's sister Catherine and husband Danny, all visited this weekend as well which was great.


Aunt Catherine also made a beautiful cake to welcome baby Callum into the family! :) (Thanks again Cat!)


Many have asked how Logan has adjusted to the arrival of his new baby brother. And I'm pleased to report, so far, so good! He had a good, but rocky time, with my parents while Jon and I were in the hospital. He definitely missed us, even though he enjoyed the extra attention and spoils that my parents gave him. You could tell since, he was literally SINGING, when he woke up the first morning we were all home together as a family again. Jon and I chuckled as we listened to his random notes bellowing out from his room - he spent a good 15 minutes just lying in his bed performing his greatest hits. It was clear he was happy to be home again, in his own bed, and with his Mommy and Daddy just across the hall.

One thing we've noticed since Callum was born, is how much BIGGER Logan now seems to us. He truly is the BIG kid in the family now! :)

Since then, Logan's been very curious about Callum - I'd say more so than when at the hospital. At first he called Callum "Mommy's baby brother", but now he's identified with Callum as his own baby brother. He joins us in bed in the mornings and asks where his baby brother is every time - and when he sees Callum, he softens his voice to this squeaky little baby voice and says "Hi baby brother" while petting Callum's head really softly. He also likes to lay his face down close to Callum's face or top of his head, smiling when Callum's downy soft hair "tickles him". He has helped Daddy feed Callum a bottle of milk, watched while I nurse (at first he thought Callum was "eating you Mommy!") and tries to give Callum a pacifier anytime it drops out of Callum's mouth.

His interaction with Callum has been the most adorable thing ever and we love it. :)

Dry as a (milk) bone

I'm no longer nursing Logan. :( I pulled back to about once a day a week or so ago and by last week, I had stopped all together. I'm still feeding him what frozen breast milk I have left over, but that's it.

This change is not really by choice -- you all know how I've struggled with breast feeding since day one. But, I suppose all good things must come to an end. Unfortunately my milk supply has been slowly decreasing. And, with Logan's growing appetite, he has been getting more and more impatient when I'd try to nurse. My milk wouldn't let down fast enough for him, so he'd pitch a fit and stop all together. I'd move to a bottle next, just to get something in him, and there you have it. The vicious cycle. The less he would nurse, the less I produced, even when trying to pump and store it, and before long there was nothing left to pump or give him the next time around.

*sigh*

There is a (small) part of me that rejoices. No more excuses that I have to be the middle-of-the-night comforter to nurse and rock Logan back to sleep. No more biting, tugging, gnawing. No more lugging around a pump to work, finding a slot of time throughout the day where I can steal away and squeeze my tits dry and emerge from the windowless closet, say hi to a co-worker who walks past me in the hallway, with pump slung on my back, acting like I didn't just spend the last 30 minutes massaging my breasts. No more confrontations with nasty security guards at the airport. No more UNSEXY nursing bras.

Lookout world -- I finally have my boobs back!

But, most of the time, like tonight, I miss being able to breastfeed Logan into a deep slumber. I miss cozying and cuddling together. I miss the Mommy/Baby selfish only-me-and-him time. So instead, I take time to rock him to sleep. To hug him and pat him and sing him lullabies and smile down on his precious little face, vigorously sucking on his tongue with his eyes closed and rubbing his head into my arm or chest or shoulder to find that perfect little spot.

My little boy is growing up.

Home Sweet Home

I got home late last night after a hellishly long day. I had thought I'd get a good night's rest (finally!) while I was gone, since I didn't have to wake up and care for a crying baby... but, I ended up getting sick instead (I think I ate something that didn't agree with me) and was up late trying to calm down an upset stomach and get a few hours of sleep before waking up for an early morning client meeting (meeting started at 8am, Central Time. yipppeeee!)

Luckily, it was a short trip -- one all day meeting and then I was back on a plane home. I got held up at security because the gal behind the x-ray monitor had no idea how to handle me. A woman. Traveling with breast milk. But no baby. WHAT TO DO! She had to call her supervisor to "check me out" because she didn't know what the protocol was. I opened up my little cooler, showed him the bottles and ice pack, explaining it really WAS breast milk.

I almost offered to let him taste it. Almost.

As it turns out, what was most perplexing to them was not the milk, but the ice pack.... he examined it closely (hey man, it's completely sealed and I've got it to keep the milk cold, see how that works??) before he finally let me go with a grumble.

Do working moms never travel or something? JEEZ.

The trip, tho short, was tough on my back. They are starting to pack the planes more and more tightly these days. It looked like a can of sardines from my vantage point at the back of the plane (standing, stretching my back, and receiving the EVIL EYE from the Nazi Stewardess - I mean Flight Attendant - who wasn't happy I was standing when the SEAT BELT SIGN WAS STILL ON).

But, four or so hours later, we finally landed and I was never happier. When I opened the front door to our home, I was greeted by a tired Daddy (he's still sick unfortunately) and a cute chubby smiley baby. It was 9:30pm, and normally by that time, I would be BEGGING Logan to finally fall asleep, but last night I was so happy he was still awake so I could spend a few minutes with him before he went to bed. :)

I know I was only gone for two days, but it seriously seemed like he put on an extra 5 lbs while I was gone. I guess I finally noticed his super chubby cheeks for the first time. ;-) We played and hung out and I fed him and rocked him to sleep. Put him to bed, did a little unpacking, and crashed myself. Glad to be home.

Thank Goodness for Name Tags

Know what Visitor Name Tags are good for?

Hiding a wet spot on your blouse when your boobs leak milk!!

UGH.

Of course, the ONE time I forget to bring any nursing pads is the time I actually leak through -- at an all day CLIENT MEETING no less.

Good times.

All I can say is, thank goodness for name tags.

Don't let the smile fool you

Our friends Eric and Jill visited us this past weekend on their way through the Bay Area, back home to San Diego. It was great seeing them after so long -- and of course, Logan enjoyed meeting his Uncle and Auntie. We all got together for a fun dinner Saturday night (with the Izbickis too) and stuffed ourselves silly Sunday morning at Stacks for brunch. Their visit was way too short and we didn't have much time to work our magic trying to convince them to move back to the Bay Area (we try every time they are here). We're looking forward to seeing them again in a couple of months!

A co-worker asked me today what recent developments Logan has taken up and to be honest, I didn't know what to report on! I feel like he hasn't changed in any major way - but rather is refining the skills he's already developed. I'm sure others who don't see him as often would protest but because I see him day to day I forget to notice the little changes. Whoops! :) He's definitely getting bigger and heavier (my back can attest to that). Lately he loves HITTING every thing, particularly with his right hand, which makes me wonder if he'll be a rightie? ;-) He's also more and more vocal -- loves to just chat and talk to himself for quite awhile now. He's sitting up for longer periods of time and can play on his own (pulling anything toward him to investigate and inspect) - however he still gets bored when he's alone and usually wants some attention or TLC after a little bit. He continues to do wonderfully at preschool which is a huge relief. And, he's starting to catch himself by putting his hand down, whenever he starts to topple over from a sitting position.

For the most part, I'm really excited to see any little change in our kiddo, but lately he's turned to BITING pretty much anything. Toys, blankets, fingers and yessssss..... my boobs. Suffice to say, I'm not a fan. It HURTS, even with no teeth, and I DON'T LIKE IT. And when he does it, he clamps down hard and then has this goofy big ass grin on his face as he looks up at me with a "Aren't I the cutest little thing Mommy?" while I'm grimacing and trying to BREAK the death grip that is his gums, hoping to stop him before my nipple falls off.

Sorry kid. The smile don't fool me.

Though I'm disheartened by my decreasing milk supply (which is almost non existent these days *sniff sniff*), I'm relieved I'm not nursing him full time anymore. I'm still hoping to make it to 6 months, at the very least, but after that, if Logan continues his biting rampage, I may have to stop. We shall see.

Tomorrow I leave for a business trip to St. Louis. :( Though I'll only be gone 2 days and 1 night, it's still a big event for us - and me. It's the first time I'll be away from Logan overnight -- yikes!! The good news is, Jon will be home with him after all (originally Jon was also going to be out of town too, which made me a little nervous since Logan's still so little). The bad news is, Jon's home sick, and will have a pretty tough time taking care of himself AND Logan. I foresee frustrated late night phone calls in my near future. ;-)

I think I need new nipples

Get your mind out of the gutter. I don't mean MY nipples..... I'm talking about bottle nipples. yeesh.

For the last few days, perhaps week, I've noticed Logan sucking the hell out of his bottles. To the point that, several times in one sitting, he'll suck so hard that the bulbous base of the nipple caves in and he just smiles up at me all sweet and innocent as his gums bite down on the thing. Poor nipple. I know what *that* feels like.

So, I guess I need to move up to a faster flow nipple. I've got a spare set of Level 3s (thanks Kim!) that I'm going to try out this weekend..... we'll see how it goes. If he doesn't drown, I suppose it's time to move on up.

Formula Don't Grow on Trees Yo

I completely forgot to post last weekend but Jenn's mom Bev gave us one of the best presents of all.... an entire *CASE* of formula (that's 24 cans of the powdered white stuff). Score!! This is huge since we are going thru the stuff like it's candy and it ain't cheap! ;-)

Thanks so much Bev!! We really appreciate it :)

Juror Summons

Did you know? Depending on the state you live in, you can be excused or deferred from jury duty if you are breastfeeding? Pretty cool. As it so happens, I just got summoned to jury duty and on the back of the form there is a section to fill out if you want to be excused, and one of the options says "Currently I am a mother who is breast feeding (Rule of Court 859)"

I never really thought about it, but it makes sense. Have you ever seen a court room with a mother's room attached? or, a Juror who puts up her hand and says, "Hold on a sec Judge, I gotta flip sides here", as her baby nurses in her lap? ;-) So there ya have it. Not that you'd EVER want to skip out on jury duty, or that you needed any more reasons to breastfeed. But if you did, then this is just one more reason to think about. :)

We're coming up on the end of Jon's paternity leave this week and overall I think Jon and Logan have gotten along smashingly. Funny, Tuesdays are not a favorite day for Logan. Both Tuesdays (last week and this week) I came home to a little baby meltdown and had to skip muay thai class and just comfort my poor little kid because Jon was at his wit's end. Jon thinks he's just missing Mommy but I really don't know. Logan's also still waking up at least once, and if we're unlucky, then twice, in the middle of the night.... but he's not STARVING like he was a couple weeks ago when he was downing 6-8oz in the middle of the night. So, Jon just gives him a little milk, however much he wants and needs, and then sets him back in his crib to watch his mobile and fall asleep on his own.

I'd say our biggest news this week has just happened in the last 24 hours. Ever since he was born, we've been swaddling Logan up tight anytime we lay him down for a nap or bedtime. But, I've been thinking maybe we should start transitioning out of that habit, since I'm concerned it hasn't given him enough chances to learn to roll over on his own (since his arms are bundled tight against his body) *and* it hasn't allowed him to learn to just fall asleep on his own. I'm not really sure if it's a huge issue or not (I doubt it), but since we're working on getting him to sleep through the night still anyway, I figured it wouldn't hurt to try.

Anyway, last night Jon tried putting him down without his swaddleme blanket (best invention EVER by the way) for the first time and he slept about 4 hrs on his own before waking up this morning. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal but that's HUGE! Anytime we used to put him down without being swaddled before, he's always squirmed and kicked and punched his arms in the air and woken himself up within 10 seconds. So, Jon laid him down swaddleme-less for each of his several naps today and he did great, sleeping on his very own each time. We've just put him to bed tonight without the swaddle again, so we'll see how long it lasts tonight. *crosses fingers*

One last item before I turn in for the night. Today is my mom's birthday. Happy Birthday Zafu!!! :)

The Working Mom's Secret Cult

Back to the grind.

*sigh*

My first day back to work was bittersweet. It was nice to get a "break" and do adult things all day long. The day went by surprisingly fast and I didn't get too misty eyed about being away from Logan all day. I think I choked up once or maybe twice but nothing major and it was gone in a flash. I kept really busy which helped.... nothing like hitting the ground running to make the day whiz right by! I had a ton of work to take care of (I got assigned a new account which, of course, had several burning issues to attend to right when I walked in the front door). And then all of a sudden I noticed "shit, it's 5 o'clock! I'm outta here!" ;-)

The difference of today vs. any previous work day for me has been coming home - I left at 5pm - totally unusual for me. And, my laptop is still sitting in my backpack by the front door. The minute I got home, I slipped right back into Mommy Zone like I had never left (of which Daddy was relieved, I think... taking care of Logan all night last night and today was a bit of a wake up call for him. hehe) I suppose work will just have to get used to me working less hours than before!

I was amazed at how all my female co-workers immediately sought me out and flocked around my desk to see how Logan was, how I was doing, etc. Many are new moms themselves, so I'm sure we looked like a flock of clucking hens, comparing notes about how many hours each of our babies is sleeping, how many ounces they are eating, how much they weigh, etc. I can only imagine what the many men around us were thinking. Probably rolling their eyes at us. ;-) My team also bought me a beautiful vase of spring flowers to welcome me back -- a pleasant surprise!

Besides comparing notes and sharing pics with the other mothers, another new experience was visiting the "Mother's Room" in our building, of which I now have keys to.... when I entered, there were actually RULES listed on the white board and I felt like I was somehow just initiated into a secret cult that you always wonder about, but never get to participate in.

I would tell you the rules. But, then I'd have to kill you. mwahahahahahahahahahhaa

Sitting Up and Rolling Over

Some more firsts!

During our playtime this afternoon, Logan rolled over once on his own which surprised me since it was out of the blue - but that was just the beginning. He's been doing great these days sitting with just a little support from me for balance. I thought I'd see how he'd do on his own and he did several consecutive sessions of sitting on his own! Mind you, the most was only 10 sec long, but still! He just made me a very proud mama - can't wait till Daddy gets home so we can tell him all about it!

A little boob time and now he's conked out on my lap from all the hard work we did.... hehehehe

Growth Spurt?

I think our little guy is going thru another growth spurt. It'll be interesting to see what he weighs and measures at our 4-month check up (in just 2 weeks!).

I say this because he's been sleeping and eating like mad again. Last night he downed about 6-7 oz and nursed for an entire hour. He pooped up a storm before finally falling asleep -- and then slept uninterrupted for about 10 1/2 hours! He then nursed a bit this morning, took a small nap, then ate about 9 oz before falling back asleep again. I can't imagine how hard his little body is working right now but it's clear something is going on. If he continues to keep up this rate of eating, I think I'm going to have to move us up to the bigger bottles. I'll wait to see how things go later today/tomorrow....

Éireann go Brách!

Leprechaun, leprechaun, fly across the sea
And fetch an emerald shamrock for you and me.

Do not bring a nettle or a thistle for a joke,
But bring an Irish shamrock, for we are Irish folk.

And you and I, my leprechaun, will wear the shamrock gay,
And match it with an Irish smile upon St. Patrick's Day!

Happy St. Patrick's Day My Little Leprechaun!

As many of you may or may not know, today is my birthday, so I decided to do nothing but lounge around in bed with Logan and watch the Sopranos all day long (I haven't finished the last season yet so don't spoil it!) :) During the first episode I popped in, I was finally getting Logan to fall asleep when a scene comes on where Tony and Bobby, are checking out Bobby's present to Tony for his birthday -- a new semi-automatic rifle (touching, isn't it?). They decide to try it out and boy if Logan didn't startle and get SCARED. He didn't cry, he didn't smile or giggle, he didn't even pout his lips and get mad. His eyes got bigger than I've ever seen before, and he stared at me for a few seconds trying to read me, with a seriously genuine scared look on his face! I realize he doesn't yet know what the sound was, to associate fear with it, and most likely it was me that flinched and he was just reacting to that, but it was interesting nonetheless. It's a good reminder for me -- not only to be careful what emotions I show since he was most likely looking to me to decide how to react to the gun noise. But also perhaps, to dial back on the Sopranos while nursing my newborn son. ;-)

We've had a few other "firsts" in his development that I thought I'd take a moment to report. Today, he noticed himself in the mirror (in the past he just looks away and doesn't pay attention to what's in the mirror) which was a fascinating game for him and mommy. He's also starting to blow a few bubbles which is pretty funny. He's staying on his stomach for longer periods of time, is SUPER talkative in the mornings and is even pulling forward to sit up!

We also tried out our soft baby carrier for the first time last night, which he wasn't too happy about. It lasted a good, oh, 30 seconds ;-) But he was also in a bad mood....so I put him in it again today and we lasted about 10 min. before he got tired of it and wanted out. I'm going to keep putting him in it for longer periods of time each day to get him used to it since I know it'll come in handy down the road when we start traveling more (or even to just have my hands free as I do chores!)

We had a nice dinner out at a local Thai restaurant with my family tonight to celebrate my birthday. Four generations at the table -- Logan, me and Jon, Zane and Claudia, my parents and my grandparents. Wow!
(Click on our Little Leprechaun to see more pics from tonight's dinner)

Éireann go Brách!

Mr. Bean

I feel like I haven't posted in ages, so I'll do a real quick update of this past week before I head to bed :) Jon weighed Logan this morning and we estimate he's about 12 lbs, 8 oz now. We'll see if that's enough come next week's doctor visit!

For Logan's 3 month birthday on Monday, the government issued him his passport early. He looks pretty dorky in his passport photo -- Jon says he's a spitting image of Mr. Bean. heheehehe I'll see if I can scan it later to post online for everyone to see. :)

Tuesday my parents took Nana and Crystal up to the city for the day -- so my brother Zane went over to my parents to watch Clock. Logan and I visited to keep them company for the afternoon and help out where I could. Clock is definitely a handful, and sometimes it felt like he required MORE attention than Logan! But, we survived. Still, I don't think Zane is quite yet ready for parenthood. ;-) That night, Jon and I did another "Diaper Date Night" at the movies. We had a nice time, the movie was good (The Other Boleyn Girl) and Logan was wide awake for most of it -- bouncing on dad's knee and actually watching parts of the movie as scenes flicked by!

Wednesday was a big day. Logan got dolled up and we set off to visit my work (Tellme) for the afternoon. We spent about 3 hrs there, just hanging out and visiting with all of my old co-workers and team. Everyone absolutely loved Logan -- he being on his very best behavior. He fell asleep toward the tail end of the visit (as some of my teammates rocked out to Rock Band, blaring in the background). He didn't actually have too many naps during the day, so by late afternoon and into evening, he was a mess. He was super upset and tired as ever but couldn't fall asleep. I suppose it didn't help that I was trekking him all over town! ;-) We had a family dinner at my parent's house planned that night -- I spent the first half of the dinner walking him around to get him to fall asleep, and the rest of the dinner holding him while eating with one hand. I have definitely gotten skilled at doing things with only one hand and balancing the kiddo with the other! ;-)

Because he didn't get much sleep on Wednesday, or perhaps because of the hyper stimulation from my work visit, he slept a great deal that night. And, the majority of the day on Thursday. We met up with Kim and her daughter Molly (5 mths old) in Los Gatos to have brunch and see a "Diaper Day" movie at the theatres (Penelope). Unfortunately, the projectionist totally forgot about the Diaper Day, and 20 some-odd moms standing outside the theatre were disappointed at a canceled showing. The lady at the theatre *was* kind enough to give us free tickets to come back another time tho. So instead, Logan and I spent the afternoon at Kim's house where we both napped while she and Molly watched a movie. :-P

Today Logan and I lazed around the house for the majority of the day - he napped a little and we just hung out. We then stopped by my parent's in the afternoon to see my grandparents and my aunt Pam who was in town visiting. Logan seemed to enjoy her animated faces and funny talking, as he stared and smiled big at her every time she caught his eye.

Every day he's getting better at balancing himself while sitting or standing, and is starting to reach out and touch more things. Kim got him the same toy that Molly has in her car seat and he's really interested in it (thanks Kim!!). He's also getting into the habit of pulling any blanket or diaper cloth that might be near his hands or belly, up to his mouth to chew and suck on. His rash seems to have gone away again - I stopped using the steroid mousse earlier in the week after a few days, but have continued to lather him in lotion every few hours during diaper changes. He's still having his meltdowns when he gets cranky and tired, but there seem to be less of them, coinciding with his rash going away....so it's quite possible that part of his extra crankiness and crying may have been because of the rash coming back. *shrug*

The most exciting news of the week tho, is his consistency in sleeping longer nights, which I'm really loving. I've noticed he tends to sleep for longer periods of time if I put him down in his crib rather than the co-sleeper/bassinet next to our bed. So, I've been working on that this week -- where I put him in his crib when he first goes to bed, and if he wakes up in the middle of the night, we then bring him into our room to feed him and get him back to sleep (where he then goes in his bassinet). I've read that babies will sometimes sleep longer when they are in their own bed because they don't smell or sense mom right next to them, so they aren't as apt to wake up as often. I think it's been hardest on ME, more than anyone in the family, by putting him in his own crib in his own room, because I have really come to love having him so close to me at night. But, I need to sleep myself and am better rested to care for him during the day. I also figure I'm going to have to start doing it eventually since I'll be returning to work soon! So, I just focus on more mommy time when he wakes in the morning -- usually bringing him back to bed to snuggle up between us and snooze for another hour or so before the day begins. :)

3 Months Old

Today marked Logan's 3 month birthday. I feel like every time I write a new post I say "My, how time flies!" but seriously, it does. In some ways it feels even longer than 3 mths -- his birth seems so very far away now. And, I hardly remember what it feels like to be pregnant anymore! Funny how fast your mind, body and memory adapt and change! It must've all been a dream. hehehehe

Logan's unbelievable sleep record has continued throughout this last week. He hasn't slept an uninterrupted 10 hrs again, but he's been sleeping for really long periods each night. When he wakes from a nap, he eats like he's starving, generally downing about 4-6 oz each time *after* nursing, which feels like a lot to us. We joke that maybe he heard Dr Safir's concerns about his weight gain and is all of a sudden now trying to catch up! ;-) I'm sure it's just me but I feel like his cheeks have puffed out and his face looks much fuller just in the last few days. At any rate, it definitely seems like he's going through another growth spurt. We shall see!

The bad news is his rash came back over the weekend. :( But, I think I know the culprit. When I gave Logan his bath Friday night, I used a non-baby shampoo (one that Dr Safir had advised we use to help get rid of his cradle cap). I can only assume it's not as gentle as the baby soaps and his ultra-sensitive skin is having a bad reaction to it. At any rate, we've started with his steroid mousse again and hopefully the rash will subside. Whether because of the rash or something else all together, he's also been more cranky and fussy than usual these last few days... literally had a couple meltdowns where NOTHING worked to settle him down, for a long long time. :( It takes a lot of patience and is very exhausting for us.

Today I set up Logan's activity mat and we played in it for a bit while he was still in a good mood. He seemed a bit overwhelmed with all the dangling toys and colors but also seemed interested, reaching out his hand to grab (more like swat) the little stuffed animals. Very cool. What's more, tonight he actually reached for, and grabbed, my face while nursing, giving me a big wide toothless grin while doing it! It was the highlight of my day. :) Jon often says it's a good thing he's so damn cute otherwise we would have strangled him long ago. I'm sure there's something to be said for that. Nature's way of protecting and nurturing our future generation.

No pics to post today. Daddy stole the camera for the day to take pics of our other house that we just put up on craigslist to rent. I'm happy to say we've already had several interested people contact us in less than a 24 hr period! So, hopefully one of them will work out and we'll get it rented very soon. :)